I’m genuinely trying to take deep breaths and just be, but I really suck at this magical thing called “chill”. This post is being dropped on both my
and my Conk’s Brain Substacks because I have burned my proverbial candle at both ends yet again. Being neurodivergent can be a giant pain in my ass some days. The flip side of intense spurts of passionate creativity is equally passionate and intense burn out.Writing makes me happy. The very strategic algorithm I have curated on Instagram makes me happy. Setting the system on fire with a blow torch makes me happy. Facebook does not make me happy. That place is a cesspool of rage bait and some of the most obtuse people (and bots) I have ever met in my life. I never should have re-activated my account.
Right now, I am so overwhelmed that the balance of my brain has gone full chaos gremlin. I’m feeling exceeding kinship to the purple minions right now.
Between my attempts at creating 3 posts a week for Fashion Rebel Nation, creating social media posts, trying to get my pantry in order for the forthcoming retail shortages, taking care of a broken window and a leaking toilet, going to my very part time day job (which I actually love), and trying to pre-pare for a relative moving into our upstairs, I am exhausted as shit. Being chronically ill and neurodivergent is zero stars, would not recommend. I haven’t even done my nails in a while, and that’s something I truly look forward to.
I’ve got to take a step back, or maybe just flip over on my back and float for a little while as opposed to attempting a Michael Phelps with the free style. Writing is my soul food, getting sucked into the perpetual social media grind is not. Being present in the real world, sitting outside with the sunshine on my face, connecting with actual human beings - that’s the ticket to finding some balance with the inner gremlin.
I’m backing up to writing once or twice a week (if I’m feeling up to it) and I’m de-activating Facebook again. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, if Substack allowed us to schedule notes, I’d drop all my social media and just be here. Scheduling allows me to write and create content when I’m feeling it and not have to log on every single day.
I’d also love it if Substack allowed us to limit comments to free subscribers (right now you can only restrict it to paid subscribers or leave it open for everyone, no in between).
I’m considering moving to Patreon, because that platform offers all of those options. We’ll see. If you have any thoughts, ideas, or suggestions regarding this, I’m all ears.
Until next time, cut yourself some slack my fellow chaos gremlins. The world is really heavy right now, it’s ok to sit down every once in a while.